When my mother was diagnosed with cancer and asked me if I could take some time off of work to help care for her, my response was the response ANY daughter should have if their mother asked them for help. I said, “of course, you know that I wouldn’t have it any other way”, because that’s what you do for your parents.
The one thing I can say about spending quite a bit of time (almost 3 months) of living with my mother, we began a new chapter in our mother/daughter relationship. I’ve watched my mother at her highest of highs & lowest of lows, and the whole time all I kept thinking was if I ever get sick, I hope I have the strength of my mother.
I never really thought of myself as a caregiver to my mother, I just did the most natural thing any child can do for their parent…just take care of them to the best of your ability. In the early stages of my mom’s cancer, I would give her instructions on what she should/shouldn’t be doing, but she’s a strong willed woman who wants to do things on her own. So when she was at her low points and couldn’t do ANYTHING but just lay on the couch, I knew she wasn’t feeling good. I spent a lot of days just sitting and watching her lay on the couch, doze off and on, and try to muster up enough strength to eat.
The early times were especially TRYING for me, I knew she was not well, but there was nothing I could do to help, the only thing I could do was be there. So, I put my life on hold and began taking care of her 24/7! I spent a lot of time just watching in amazement about how strong my mom was. After her double mastectomy surgery she was up and around in a few days…while I was making sure that she ate, her dressings got changed every few hours, that her wounds were being kept clean, and that she wasn’t over-doing it. I don’t spend much of my time crying or feeling down when I’m around her, because when she sees me down, it brings her down. I have learned to have the patience of JOB, how to be a mother (to my mother), and how to have an abundance of faith in being my mother’s caregiver.
Submitted by: Dionne
The Caregiver
The Role of Caregiver is a balancing act and the caregiver must first take care of him/herself, both physically and emotionally, before taking on the role.
Here are a few tips:
1. You do not have to do it all.2. Eat well. This also helps your loved one who needs to eat well and will probably have a
better appetite by sharing a
meal.
3. Get plenty of sleep and rest. Can sometimes be done best by taking a small nap or just
putting your feet up when
your loved one is napping.
4. Excercise5. Take a break by taking some time for yourself.
6. Get and stay organized to help you manage your time -
be sure to make time for
things you enjoy when
scheduling your time!
7. Remember - you can't do it all so create a support team of
other family members,
friends, etc. to relieve you.
8. Recognize when you feel overwhelmed and ask for help!!!
Dionne and her mother, Jo James
Click here to see Jo's Memorial page.
